Bloody screwed up

You are such a bloody screwed up school with bloody screwed up people. With a screwed up system and screwed up directors and screwed up programmes. Basically, you have screwed up my life and screwed up your reputation. I am words away from saying the F word. Let me control myself first.

BLOODY SCREW YOU. GO SCREW YOURSELF. SCREW OFF. SCREW YOUR STAFF, SCREW YOUR STUDENTS, SCREW THE OFFICES, SCREW EVERYONE.

I am so disillusioned right now. You guys have made my day. I am crestfallen, I have never cried during these past few weeks of toture but just one email was enough for somebody who was emotionally stable to lose it. YES, I have lost it. I couldn't stop. As if my life isn't bloody horrible as it is. I should have gone away. As if the sorrow I have always felt all my life was not enough. IN THE END, JUSTICE NEVER PREVAILS. NEVER. Yes, I have seen enough of this world. Somebody, please just kill me. I have no wish to remain here anymore. Just kill me, end my suffering. KILL ME WITH SWIFT BLOWS, STABS, RUN ME OVER WITH A CAR. ANYTHING, just please help me end it. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel so let me see the one I am supposed to see before I cross over.

Doing it right

I can never do anything right.

Overworked

I think my comms presentation is going to be great! RS did a great great great job with the slides and the video and I was so wowed by it. This is like making me feel hopeful. I initially thought we were going to die because we only prepared for like less than two week. The idea only began to take shape like last week. Now, it's so bloody cool! That means I can still do it for the rest of my work.YES!!!

Now, I have to go and memorise my script and think about how to tie my hair for tomorrow.

Death beckons

I am such a coward, aren't I? I want to die so all my work can end.

Infatuation defined

Infatuation (noun):

1. a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
2. an object of extravagant, short-lived passion.
3. temporary love of an adolescent.

Double dare me to face my obsession

Well, my dear SY, I can't! And I won't. That's why it's called infatuation! It's one-sided. I like that kind of bitter sweet feeling. I am in no position to confront him. HAHA.

Yes, I am currently happy with my infatuation. So, don't spoil it. It's so fun.

Continued

I am in TWC lesson now. I am so bloody bored. OK, there is this stupid girl who is using an A4 size paper and reading from it for her individual presentation. Now, is that dumb or what? Worse still, she presented before and our prof told us not to use cue cards etc as it shows that you haven't internalise. STUPID!

Ok, I am going to continue my story. ZM came in but obviously I didn't respond. What do you want me to do? SAY HI??? OK, when we reached the 2nd floor, he let SH and I out first. Haha. I think I have seen too many guys who rush out of the lift once the door opens. OK, so given my inculcated politeness, I said "Thank you" and I was quite surprised when he said "Welcome".

Totally think he damn cute. I totally get wobbly legs when I see gentlemanly guys. Haha. I swear my heart beat faster when we were in the lift. I could hear. Haha. OK, the feeling is back. I like the feeling. :)