SHUT UP

I purposely left the conversation as they were a bit deaf and stupid and didn't understand what I was saying. I am ANGRY that I had to repeat myself 3 times.

Burnt out

Don't tell me it's too early to feel burnt out. But that's what's happening. I can't believe it either. It has only been two weeks of school. But here I am again, not going my homework, not going through my readings. TIRED.

Well, I sit beside a cute guy for one of my classes. I think I sound disgusting. YEA, I do.

I can't stand a girl from one of my classes. She was actually sitting at one of the seats. Then, this cute guy came in. She moved seat and sat beside him! SO BLOODY OBVIOUS!

I have found quite a number of friends. Not the close kind, just the kind to do project with. So, i generally don't have to worry about not having a project group! :) I think I am kinda mean. Out of my 4 modules, 3 of my profs let us choose our own groups. And I absolutely resist doing with the PRCs and the IN. Short form better. Don't want to offend anyone. I don't want to do with them due to the communication problem. I feel a bit sorry for them as no one wants to group with them.

Life

All the ironies of life just don't sum up.

I don't understand it.

Farewell Antonio Puerta.

You deserve more but Heaven has other plans for you.

Rest in Peace.

I think

I really think that the world is so different now. And my friends are so different now. All strangers to me. It's scary. Maybe I should change too. To adapt. Be a chameleon.

I feel like I am drowning. I can't believe just two days of modules can make me feel like calling for help. I feel so tired.

I want to have lessons with my friends. I don't want to go into a class, just like what happened today. Go in there and feel so left out and so neglected. I am not invisible. I expect my opinions to be respected. You have no right to continue talking.

I miss all my friends from Bondue, FTB and most of all DOD. Will you all save me from drowning?

Haiz

I never knew that I would be dreading school like this. I don't feel like going at all. And I am so tired of having to see the people in school. THOSE PEOPLE who just make me lose my appetite to study. I know that there are so many of these girls around. I have to think about my GPA all the time and I definitely hope that I meet nice people in class.

I am afraid of what's in store for me.

Sometimes, I really wonder if I have made the right choice.

Timetable

My timetable is actually quite good for a slacker like me. And good for people who cannot wake up in the morning. And good for people who go clubbing. WHATEVER.

I have to take 4 modules, one per day from Monday to Thursday. All will start at 330pm except for one at 12pm. So, it's really a lot of slacking.

Tired again. I am dreading convocation because my heels are probably too high and my white blouse too translucent. Then still have CCA Day and Freshman Bash at MOS. Like not coming to school, but going to club. I am not the clubbing sort. I don't mind going but I don't really like it.

Am I too conservative?

I am Back again

I am back from FTB camp. Actually it didn't really suck like what people told me. It just wasn't fun. And my group was not cohesive enough. But it was better than the first day. I talked to everyone. Haha. And I am not going to be like someone: only talk bout the people she like! (and the list doesn't even include me) Haha! Kidding.

I think most of the activities were dumb but I am pretty lucky coz I didn't have to participate in most of the carrying people or jumping like SIAO coz I had the excuse of an ankle injury. But I participated in most of them, not like some idiot keep saying that I couldn't participate in a lot of the activities and she is sad because of that. HELLO! I only didn't participate in the spider's web one and the running for the final challenge. I didn't run but I had to walk the entire distance with an arrogant idiot! And everytime I reached the station, I will do the bloody activities with them. Walau and I had to hold all of your heavy water bottles and walk damn fast. Even Adam said I was FAST! So walau, stop saying that I didn't participate. Let me talk bout my group members.

Let's start with the girls. There were 6 girls in the group. One from Maldives, two from China and another one from Singapore. That excludes SH and me. The 3 international students were very quiet. But I think they liked me. HAHA. They said I was kind. I mean nobody really says that I am kind. Most people say that I am mean. I think that was really nice of them.

Actually, I realised that SH is also super smart like me. HAHA. I mean that she has very brilliant ideas but sometimes our group is a bit deaf and won't listen to her. And we will have to shout " LISTEN!" She really has brilliant ideas, you know! I am not saying for the sake of saying, but I am really impressed. Then I was a bit shocked at myself, like I could be enthusiatic when I wanted to. But what people told me about me left me a bit bewildered. Like that I was firm? HAHA. I don't think so.

The other girl is called QiH. Don't want to write her entire name down. Later she come across my blog, I am dead. She is irritating by my standards. And she's very "on" but it's that kind of irritating "on". And she doesn't think before giving ideas. She will just blindly do something even if we tell her that it won't work. But I have to give her credit for not giving up and leading in dangerous situations like tunneling. She kept helping us see if there was space infront of the pitch dark containers. But she's quite insensitive and I think I am quite good in concealing my disaffections towards her. I don't think I am mean at all because normally if I don't like someone I will be damn mean.

Ok, now to the guys. Ja and AB. International students. One from China and one from Thailand. The Thailand guy kept falling asleep during debrief and pissed off a lot of people. I felt sorry for him after that. I think he's sick. He said that he has been exhausted for a long time. It's a sickness. Then I feel a bit ashamed of myself for not treating him nicely. Ja was damn strong man. He had to carry so many people and let so many people step on him and he never complained. HAHA! Thanks Ja!

The other three guys can talk about them together. Adam,RX and BD. They are the more proactive ones in our group and they are nice too. Adam is also damn funny. He said that one of the items at dinner look like cat food and that our stick on the tent can hunt seagulls. Haha. And he was so afraid that his shorts were too short. Then SH and I made it worse by laughing at him. HAHA. RX and BD were the leaders in the group most of the time and they are also funny.

Actually I am damn tired again. I will continue later.

Sorry, my memory sucks

AHHHHHHHHH!!! I forgot V's birthday! OMG, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! :(

I was so busy doing my Dominoes of Dreams CIP that I forgot about your birthday. And to make things worse, I remember asking you when it was like beginning of July. :(

Well, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

ARGH! My memory sucks.

Why this?

Seriously, I don't mind going to sing. I mean I have a WONDERFUL voice! :) But I think I will be embarrassed to go with people that I am unfamiliar with. Like some people in my DOD group. I have no idea whether anyone will get offended if they see this post. I am OK with almost everyone but I am not comfortable with singing infront of the two uncles. It's so bloody wierd. HAHA. But I have learnt to be sporting after going to uni. Like I will do stuff that I normally will reject. I think I am extremely open-minded already.

Did I mention the pervert asked many people to go to his birthday party? Including me? I haven't replied him but maybe his birthday is over already? MUAHAHAHA.

I just remembered something. My friend told me that one of our common friends love to boast that her family is rich. Like her parents can go to this art gallery and just buy a picture that's worth a few thousand dollars. I am in an extremely unhappy mood as I can't sleep at this hour. Here's what I think. SHUT UP! BLOODY IRRITATING THING! That's nothing to be proud and haughty about just because your parents do nothing but waste money. What's wrong with their brains? What's wrong with yours? My brain is a fuzzy mess and I think I can't stop talking crap. I happen to look down on you. I think so many other people have so much to boast about. My parents can go out and buy pictures too but they happen to understand that the money can be used on stuff more important like our education, well-being and our happiness. Not viewing or aesthetic pleasure. Bloody shallow things. I think I won't be so angry if she hadn't told my friend with the hidden motive of boasting. It's their own business, none of mine. I have priceless pictures on the walls of my house. They are family portraits. PRICELESS, heard me?

I think I have to get used to life being unfair, because she's on a bloody scholarship to the UK. And what makes me fuming mad and bitter is that her results are not as good as mine. This doesn't make sense. I didn't even get a single call to go down for interviews for overseas scholarships. I don't want to criticise these organisations but please don't mislead people like me. You know how much time I spent writing essays? You know how much hope I held? You know how much it hurt to let those go? If you never planned for people like me(without any S paper) to get a chance. Write it into your requirements: If you don't have any S paper, don't apply to prestigious organisations like ours. HQ is right. People who don't deserve the scholarships are getting them. Don't try and make me see that it's because I don't have an impressive CCA record. I gave it my all. I just didn't deserve it in their eyes.

And I am quite sure she did quite a bit of publicity for me. Because a senior from my CCA in my first 3 months JC knows my results. And he tells me that everybody in my CCA knows. Well, well, at least I got that. I feel like some kind of Cinderella where everything turns out right. That sucker school is totally worth my criticisms. I was probably kind of infamous. I mean I was the only person who didn't get into the school after CCA appeal. And I only knew about it on the last day. YEA YEA, I get the last laugh. I have to mention this. All my vengence is coming back. I put in so much effort and hard work to master the pieces learnt to play them well and I get kicked out because my E Maths did not get A1. And I got B3 for A Maths. So I didn't fit the Science stream according to the totally country pumpkin principal. Well, since you have already left the school, I can't send you any letters showing you my triumph. And did I mention, my conductor promised to put in a good word for me and to help me but I never heard from him ever again.

I think I go mad when everyone is asleep and when the whole house is quiet.

Resistance is futile

This is my second last day at work. My replacement has left and so now when I leave, there will be no one doing my job. My supervisor wanted me to stay for another week but NO, I won't. It's too bloody tiring. And I have academic briefings and FTB next week. Impossible to drag on anymore.

I started selling the Domino cards at my workplace. And I have to say that the response is far from lukewarm(in the positive sense). I have sold 19 cards already! Though that's far from the 100 cards Richard wants us to sell, it is still something spectacular. I mean I could never sell anything like charity tickets to my family and friends and the NKF card I hand up only had $5 which I myself contributed. Muahahaha. I am going to attack some other colleagues later and also tomorrow when I leave and go pass them small presents.

I was persuading this colleague of mine to buy one domino card and the guy "who always looks at me" came to talk to this colleague. She asked him if he wanted to donate and then after I explained to him the purpose of the donation for 3 seconds, he took out his wallet and wanted to donate! For other people, I probably have to talk for 30 seconds, but he was so nice to save me from talking and donated! OMG, there are nice guys around! But I was more eager to sell to this other colleague who wanted 5 cards. So, I told him that I will give him the card when I go back to my desk. He didn't appear after that! However, I decided to be thick-skinned and went to pass the card to him. Well, luckily, he had already prepared his $2 in his shirt pocket. :)

I am going to teach tuition again later. I think that the kids are driving me up the wall and I get pissed every single lesson.